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Why
did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for
three hours? Because on the box it said concentrate!
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An
accountant got out of bed one morning and complained that
he had not slept a wink. "Why didn't you count
sheep?" his wife asked. "I did, and that's
what got me into trouble," the accountant replied. "I
made a mistake during the first hour, and it took until this
morning to correct it."
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Why
did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in
the file and that's what they did last year.
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A
patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete
physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave
news for you. You only have six months to live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?" asked the
patient. "No," said the doctor, "but
it will SEEM longer."
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I'm
tired!
For
a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too
much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason:
I'm
tired because I'm overworked.
Consider:
The
population of this country is 237 million.
104
million are retired.
That
leaves 133 million to do the work.
There
are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the
work.
Of
this there are 29 million employed by the federal government,
leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8
million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million
to do the work.
Take
from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and
City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million
to
do the work.
At
any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving
1,212,000 to do the work.
Now,
there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That
leaves just two people to do the work.
You
and me.
And
you're sitting at your computer reading jokes!
Contact
us with ideas you have for this page. Credit will
of course be given.
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